Shannon Jenkins, Associate Writer: Lifestyle & Culture
There’s something appealing about Miss Richfield 1981. It may be her signature style composed of white-rim glasses, chewing gum and raven bouffant. Maybe it’s her Midwestern sensibility or bold, physical humor. Whatever the reason, it’s working.
With an act that combines “homespun warmth and edgy improv,” the Minnesota native has sold out theaters across the country, including venues in Atlanta, Chicago and New York. During the summer months she packs the house five nights a week in Provincetown, and headlines for Atlantis Events cruises and resort vacations. She has also appeared on “The Tonight Show with Jay Leno,” NBC’s “Today,” TLC’s “Cake Boss” and Travel Channel’s “Weekends With Samantha Brown.”
On March 30-31 Miss Richfield brings “2012: We’ll All Be Dead By Christmas!” to the 14th Street Playhouse as she readies her audiences for the rumored apocalypse. Despite her hectic schedule as the potential ends nears, Miss Richfield spared a few moments to speak with Fenuxe.
Fenuxe: Have you ever considered leaving Minnesota?
Miss Richfield: Good heavens! No! No! No! On second thought, the cold winter months can be treacherous when scampering across the icy walkways in 7-inch stilettos. So I’ve thought about relocating part-time to a small, farming community in Florida called Hialeah. It’s where the Mexicans from Cuba settled and not far from the homos in Fort Lauderdale. They have ample parking facilities, so we’ll see how high gas prices go and then I may drive my home down from Minnesota and feed the meter for a month or so.
Fenuxe: If you ran your own pageant, what qualities would you look for in a winner?
Miss Richfield: As Miss Richfield 1981, a beauty professional and pageant title holder, I know the buzz about scholarships and high school diplomas and all, but it’s a fact that only 50 percent of beauty queens can actually read and write, and virtually none of us do math. So I’d hang it all on a lovely appearance, big hair and reasonable hygiene. Let’s face it, beauty is skin deep and everybody knows that your skin is not connected to your brain!
Fenuxe: How do you keep yourself occupied on all those Atlantis cruises?
Miss Richfield: Surprisingly, I do not have a lot of free time on the ships as the homos have me running country dances and bingo and ice skating during the day and then I usually work a night shift in the laundry for some mad money and bus fare home. It’s not a bad gig because you can say what’s on your mind since no one speaks English. Then I also do a few shows in the main theater, which can seat up to 1,300 people. It never sounds like that many since most of the homos refuse to put down their cocktails to clap. But I know they’re out there when my eyes are watering from the stench of expensive cologne, dime store hair gel and that chemical smell from dry cleaning—you know they refuse to launder conventionally!
Fenuxe: You’ve been the Orbitz Gay Travel spokesperson for a hot second. How’s that going?
Miss Richfield: I don’t want to toot my own horn, but hang on while I grab my tuba! We’re filming another Orbitz commercial the day before my Atlanta show! And those people at Orbitz are really, really smart. They discovered that when people see Miss Richfield 1981, they want to travel. It doesn’t matter whether it’s on the street or in a restaurant or even in my shows, once people get near me, they just want to get up and go! It’s very consistent!
Fenuxe: If the world ends in December, how do you think it will happen?
Miss Richfield: I can’t go into too much detail, as it is a topic I highlight in my new show, “2012: We’ll All Be Dead By Christmas!” But I’ll guarantee you that the nightmarish horror and panic of the end times have been carefully and accurately crafted into uplifting musings and musical production numbers that will encourage you to take a celebratory approach to the impending Armageddon!
Fenuxe: You’ve been doing what you do for quite a while. What’s the key to your longevity?
Miss Richfield: Professional training and good clean living.
Fenuxe: How does Atlanta’s gay scene compare to other cities you’ve visited?
Miss Richfield: I find the homos in Atlanta to be particularly happy and satisfied, not to mention exceptionally handsome. They always make me feel right at home, and I end up loving it all in Atlanta. It could be the healthy diet of peaches and sufficient roughage that make a person regular and happy. Or it could be my friendly accommodations at the Shepherd’s Inn on Ivan Allen Boulevard, with its nighttime crowd and shared baths. Or it could be that good old-fashioned Southern style that makes me smile and ask that everyone move faster or get out of my way!
Miss Richfield 1981 Presents
“2012: We’ll All Be Dead By Christmas!”
When: March 30 at 8PM
Where: 14th Street Playhouse,
173 14th Street, Midtown
Tickets: $25-$35
Details: www.missrichfield.com or www.14thstplayhouse.org














