Can you believe Christmas is right around the corner? It seems like only yesterday I was sunning my ample boobs in my micro pink thong at the beach and car wash over there in Midtown. Now it’s gotten so cold my hoo ha has shrunk up inside me like a bear hibernating for the winter. But I must confess the holidays are very romantical (especially when its cold outside). Yes, I’m also one of those geeks who loves Christmas music, the season and oh yeah, the gifts.
Speaking of gifts, FENUXE Magazine once again sent me to the premiere consumer products showcase for the gays to report on the latest gift giving necessities. Located at the Buford Highway Flea Market and Beauty Barn, it was a visual feast to behold. So in the spirit of “Oprah’s Favorite Things,” I present Mary Edith’s Gayest Things.
From the makers of “Sham Wow” and “Snuggie” comes their new product Sham-Moo. Designed to keep you warm and comfortable, Sham-Moo offers style while protecting you from embarrassing spills. With Sham-Moo, 64 oz. soda spills are no problem. Sham-Moo is guaranteed to keep you dry as it absorbs over 2 gallons of warm liquid. sham-moowatersports.com (34.95)
Those familiar with Summer’s Eve are excited about a product generating buzz from their new division called Winter’s Bone. Marketing products designed for the discerning gay man, Menema is the manly enema for the gay man whose sewer is about to be laid with some serious pipe. Formulated with micro anal beads, it is designed to be inserted anally and then shaken vigorously. Included with your kit is a DVD on how to twerk so you get the maximum friction necessary for a good cleaning. With Menema, not only will you smell nice, you’ll look nice with custom formulated blends. “Fem” has just a touch of perfume oil plus added shimmer to make your mussy sparkle. “Manly” has added pheromones and microfibers that resemble hair. Finally, “Piggy” smells like bacon, has a squiggly nozzle and can be filled with latex to later be used as a butt plug. menema.com (6 pk @ 19.99)
From the makers of Rascal Scooters come the latest greatest scooter. You don’t ever have to worry about what’s coming down your chimney this Christmas. With the Pooper Scooter, all your worries are over. After bathing, simply sit on the ergonomically designed butt nozzle and seat and you are hermaphraditcallly sealed in. You can go about your daily business while you do your daily business. rascalscooters.com/
Love and lashes,
Mary Edith Pitts