Every relationship has different parameters that make it work. Usually a couple has certain agreed-upon standards that each partner is comfortable with, both in and out of the bedroom. Some are obvious, such as sleeping with someone else while in a monogamous relationship, while others remain in a bit of a grey area, such as masturbation.
The Huffington Post suggests that people in relationships are more likely to feel guilty engaging in solo sex. Some so much in fact, that they might even feel as though they are cheating on their partner if they masturbate.
In some cases, worrying about their partner’s perception of their masturbatory habits is slightly warranted. As Psychology Today points out, there is still a significant portion of people that feel unhappy, hurt, or even betrayed when they find out about their partner’s solo sex habits.
It’s a hang up that can be difficult to overcome in a relationship. Most every professional or medical outlet you reach out to will tell you that masturbating while in a relationship is perfectly normal. Regular masturbation can even benefit your health.
Adam and Eve states that, “regular orgasms reduce the chances of developing prostate cancer, and they also improve cardiovascular health and reduce pain. Of course orgasms reduce stress and fosters a sense of intimacy, but they also boost the body’s immune system.”
In addition, those who engage in masturbation can also see a healthier, more enjoyable sex life with their partner. The more frequently they engage in masturbating, the higher their sex drive.
Given all of the benefits of regular masturbation, it’s surprising to hear that some may still have issues with their partner’s self-sex habits. However, that isn’t to say that it’s not something worth discussing with your partner. Even if you don’t agree with them on the matter, being in a relationship means that you respect their feelings and try and work towards a solution together.
Even with the medical benefits, or regularity that partners masturbate during sex, that doesn’t exactly change the fact that the rules of a relationship are personal to each set of partners. There is no “normal” relationship, it’s simply defined by those a part of it. Therefore, the issue of whether masturbating in a relationship is right or wrong is still nothing short of an opinion by each individual.
No matter what side of the issue you’re on, if you feel that it is creating a rift in your relationship, it’s something that needs to be worked out. If all else fails, a neutral party, such as a counselor, can provide a healthy environment for you both to express your feelings without judgement, and help you work past it.